A L.E.G.I.O.N. Of R.E.B.E.L.S.

What's the greatest cosmic team in the DC universe ? WROOOOOOONG ! It's L.E.G.I.O.N. , bitches !

I've come across this series recently and DAMN did it kick ass ! I guess the main reason people do not know about the title is the fact that it sounded like a spin-off of Legion of Super-Heroes (which I also like to call : REBOOT, the comic book !). Now, I am  not that fond of the Legion, and yes, I've read the Great Darkness Saga, but it was due to my love for the God of Trolling, Darkseid. While it is a cool story, it did not tantalize me all the way.
As for this series, it was due to my considerable love for Lobo ... and it KNEW how to grab my interest ! It had pathos, twist & turns,EDGINESS (yes sir ! THIS is an edgy series without trying too fucking hard !) and sudden reversals. Point is; it was never static and the characters (especially those on the poster ) make for great interactions, whether serious or just plain humorous. And damn if it doesn't have the most heterogenous mix of moralities and alignment! The good ( Phase, Lyrissa , Strata , Lady Quark...) , the evil (Lobo ) led by the cunning Vril Dox II.
Point is, it just ate LOSH for breakfast ! And that's me saying it and knowing full well this series flaws !

But let's tackle the different runs and my impressions (and of course the issues that impressed I, KAIS !)



I_ L.E.G.I.O.N. '89-'94 [ Licensed Extra-Governmental Interstellar Operatives Network.]

This series, mainly written by Keith Giffen, Barry Kitson and Alan Grant followed the (mis)adventures of Vril Dox and his allies after their escape from the Starlag in Invasion! (which,frankly my dear, I do not care about right now).
Dox takes his companions to his planet, Colu, where they overthrow the Computer Tyrants running the planet. Early on, and due to the team's resident whiny bitch Garryn Bek's bungling and accidental killing of a space dolphin, they'll have to face the czarnian hellraiser himself ! Dox smoothly "convinces" Lobo into joining the team. Being a cold, lawful badass, Dox decides to form an interplanetary police force. Therefore, He bases his operation on the planet Cairn (aka ... errrr.... Okay it's a planet that took the drug production of Afghanistan, Bolivia , Columbia, Bahamas and Peru, cocktailed the whole shebang and then made a society out of it. Or we'll just call it "Charliesheenia " to keep things simple) after a coup against Cairn's ruler. Little did Dox know, his most dangerous ally, Stealth, has a very nasty surprise for him.
What's there to add ?

+ Vril Dox is simply THAT great a character ! He's intelligent, occasionally cruel, dedicated, lawful and unexpectedly sympathetic (especially due to the tremendous and obsessive loathing he bears towards his dad, Brainiac...). This is how you make the leader of a team properly macchiavellian and rightly charismatic, Dox can be both a puppet master as well as the chew toy of emotions he either hides or can't convey properly OR fate ( but when he has an outburst, Holy shit!). And by Jove is his friendship with his "pet" Durlan heartwarming !

+ LOBO. This is definitely THE best use of the last czarnian in comics history! THE proof that the Main Man is a true and tried character outside his over the top minis and one-shots (which I DO love for the most part !). But yes, even played seriously, Lobo adds a lot of levity to the book.
Why is he my other favorite character on this book ? Well, he is crass, sadistic , violent , genuinely threatening (this book plays Lobo as an actual monster despite his dark humor ! Kind of like an evil Genie from Aladdin if you will...plus, he is more clever than he lets on.) and absolutely unapologetic. And , I swear to God , Lobo has THE best interactions with Vril throughout the entire book (YUP, you heard that ! Forget about the others in this department, the Main Man reigns supreme !). These disputes or the way one manages to anger the other (and trust me, as intelligent Dox is, he does not ALWAYS punk Lobo ), give both characters a genuine amount of depth due to their wildly opposite natures : Vril is a lawful, pathos-driven schemer while Lobo is a chaotic, devil-may-care brawler.
Finally , LEGION's Lobo effortlessly did what Claremont's Wolverine failed in doing for me : being both a consistent character and the entertaining demon of the band ! How 's that for a comparison ? So much for a "rip-off"...

+ Lyrissa Mallor. The kindest and most altruistic member in the troop and an all-around great person. Will meet the saddest of deaths at the hands of her own estranged daughter ! And while Lydea gets more focus, she didn't impress me the same way her mom did.

+ Phase. A totally cool character and excellent commander despite ONE glaring flaw....

+ The EYE is more powerful than the Slimfast program !

+ Lady Quark, the other last of her kind powerhouse of the team. I love her for the exact opposite reasons I love Lobo. She does harbor some feelings for Dox (but then again, who doesn't ?)

+ They have a telepath called Qi'Qi' ! That alone deserves respect ! Plus his origin is quite heartwrenching...as well as his species mode of life.

+ Stealth ...just Stealth. This chick , despite a cute look, is actually a walking NIGHTMARE ! That is not really her fault, but her gryxian biology makes it so that her hormonal changes ...errr... lead to very, VERY unfortunate consequences for any male that crosses her way at that moment.

+ I enjoyed the romance that developped between Strata and Garv. And yes, Drayadians make Batman-inspired costumes look better on them !

+ The love triangle between Marij'n, Captain Comet and Garryn is quite compelling even if I felt it should have been shorter ...

+ Cool antagonists like the tyrants of Colu, Iceman (yeah, I KNOW. They should have given this dude another name !), Dagon-Ra and Ignea...

As for the cons :

- The reveal of Phase's past is exactly why I roll my eyes at LOSH... I mean, couldn't they just stick to ONE fucking origin and be done with it ? I vote for the one where she's Ennya Wazzo (swear to God, that's a weird name !)
- Lady Quark's death was complete BULLSHIT !
- The Daxamite recruit was a bit of a let down...

BEST ISSUES : 7,10,13,15,16,17,18,19,21,23,26,30,39,45,48,50,51,63,66,70,all 5 Annuals



II_ R.E.B.E.L.S. [Revolutionary Elite Brigade to Eradicate L.E.G.I.O.N. Supremacy]

The follow-up and FALL written by Tom Peyer (who started writing the previous book around the 60-ish issue...).
L.E.G.I.O.N. is usurped by Vril Dox's son, Lyrl Dox. Yeah, the "bundle of joy " he got "thanks" to Stealth's biological needs.
Thus, our good pal Dox and the members who remain loyal to him (Lobo, Phase, Strata, Stealth, and some forgettable shmuck in love with Stealth called Borb...) are forced to flee in a mysterious new ship in order to regroup and regain control of L.E.G.I.O.N.

Now, this is not a bad book and the best thing about it is definitely Vril's struggle to fight his decadence. Anytime the manipulative Coluan is on panel, I am thrilled and find myself WANTING to see him get better.
The fact that motherfucking Neron gave Vril the key to solve the Lyrl situation is a major plus in my book.( Especially since the price for Neron's help is the soul of a member in the generation of the Dox line. While it seems cruel, most are worthless with the exception of our hero here...).
After that... well it kind of ends. I love how Vril managed  to lobotomize his son and reduce his super-intellect to that of a normal one-year-old. What I am NOT fond of however is that the other characters they encounter during this journey are just not that captivating.

My other problem is Tom Peyer writing Lobo out of the book. I mean, Okay , their explanation is somewhat plausible  ( he did not fit the “underdogs on the run” feel of the title, as he was too powerful and too much of a comedic character.And to the readers who wanted him out of the book : Go Fuck yourselves, you humorless mongoworms)
Too powerful for the premise... debatable (LEGION showed many antagonists more powerful than even Lobo !).
Too comedic ? Honestly, I felt that we've lost the best dynamic from the book, kind of like losing Harvey Bullock during the Rucka/Brubaker run. Oh well, at least he does leave without hard feelings and after trolling Vril nonstop static.comicvine.com/uploads/s… (my heart swoons every time at this panel ! Clearly  comics do need more scenes like this !)

BEST ISSUES : 0,7,10,11,13,17




III_ R.E.B.E.L.S. [Regular Everyday Bastiches Endin' Lantern Supremacy]


This book is actually my introdution to this team... and is also why I read comics.It was a waaaaay better read than Johns' "Green Lantern". Why ? Wellll in one word :
JohnsbonerforHalJordanisannoyingasfuckconsideringhowmuchIpreferedHalasParallaxandhowbetterDuckfuckinDodgerswasasalanternIfindKyletobeanoverallfarmorelikablepersonthanthatshmuckandtheremustbeagoodreasonastowhytheypickedJohnfortheJLUcartoonButultimatelyIdsaitsbecauseIasahugeGuyGardnerfandespisethewayhegetsbitchedaroundandlosthisVuldarianpowersjustsohecansucktheSmurfcocksseriouslyfuckyouthataintGuyaddtothatthatSinestroandHankHenshawarethegenuinegoodthingstocomeoutoftherainbowskittlesLanterns.
With that said, Tone Bedard is at the helm with Andy Clarke and Claude St Aubin and BOY did he deliver ! This is a farewell to these wonderful characters and it works perfectly fine for newcomers and even better for someone who is not fond of 2000 DC/Marvel !

The GOOD :

+ Vril Dox back with a vengeance, baby ! And with new recruits like the freaky durlan Ciji (actually a deadly space pirate who's decided that teaming-up with him was the soundest thing to do... and it is !), the adorable Tribulus and the nice-hearted starhaven pariah Wildstar , it is time for the awesomest Coluan ever to regain control of his organization !
+ The way Starro was reimagined works perfectly fine for me. It did not remove any of the mystique of the established giant starfish (we still do not know where this monster comes from...) and is a pretty daring experiment, especially when the star-fish the avatar was telling us the origin of this army. I loved the fact that this Starro avatar was a fusion of a Hatorei and a Starro-queen. Did I mention that I find the tragic Astrild Storm-daughter and the barabric Smite pretty great ?
+ Despero of Kalanor shrugs off decapitation !
+ Adam Strange is married with SpaceMILF...err.. Alanna ! It is crucial to point this out .
+ Captain Comet gets to climb Koriand'r 's Venus Mounts ! And I'll confess this I really prefer everyone's favorite "half-naked alien supermodel" as a LEGION member rather than in the Titans. Why? There are a lot more interesting missions for Starfire in space for starters! One concerning her origins...
+ Blackfire (yes, THAT Blackfire !) gets some pretty interesting development.
+ Lyrl is still an ungodly creepy young bastard.
+ Brainiac gets finally PWNED by Vril ! (HA ! In your face , old man !)
+ This is the last Hurrah of Lobo and the last time we'll see the TRUE Last czarnian (Bedard really impressed me in that department!). I salute you, Main Man , may Hell accept you and a flock of boose and hoes guide you in comics limbo www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3e40N… ! www.urban-comics.com/wp-conten…
+ Any time someone flips off the space smurfs , I smile ! I haven't been this happy since Hal Jordan massacred the little vermins !

The BAD :
- I'd have loved to see this series get more stories... It really deserved more issues and a much bigger push.
- Piss off, Brainiac 5 !
- Pffff... Stealth dies for a Blackest Night tie-in. Talk about a shitty way to go !
- Shame Bedard did not bring Lady Quark back...

BEST ISSUES : 4,Annual,13,14,17,20,21,22,27

Anyhow , Let's pray the Schwarz so that this team gets an animated adaptation .... animated mini-series that it ! Who would you pick as voices ? YOU make the call !