My friends, there are stories out there that dare take risks, be different, and NOT succumb to the rules and intrinsics that the universe they are set in work under. I am of course referring to the daring genius...of "Sins Past".
People do claim that this story put an excellent twist in the Spider-man mythos. That it took an underdevelopped supporting female character and made her deeper rather than the symbol of chaste purity. They also add that Straczynski's previous effort (along with John Romita Jr) was quite dull before EIC Joe Quesada decided to put his EPIC flair in order to push in the right direction.
So let's dive in through remark by remark while I was reading this garba...CEREBRAL CHALLENGE !
- Robert DeNiro gives MJ acting tips and... MJ got the part ! I'll be perfectly honest , the first 8 pages or so are great JMS-Spidey Slice of life and it is part of why I love his TRUE run so much.
- Then, Peter discovers a letter that Gwen wrote while she was ... in FRAAAAAANCE ! Because everybody knows that france is like the Mordor of the Marvel Earth.
- Gwen's handwriting is better than mine...Damn.
- Ah yes ! The night Gwen Stacy died , the story that changed Peter's world and GAAAAAAHHHH... SWEET LORD AM I TIRED OF IT ! Look , I see this story the same way I view "The Killing Joke"... No ok, not exactly like the "Killing Joke" since it is a genuinely better story BUT GODDAMIT ! It is NOT as impressive as people make it out to be ! It feels more like the Hors-d'oeuvre of what Peter will be confronted to (Especially in my absolute favorite runs of course. What did you expect from me ?). Plus , I'll say this : I think Spidey killed Gwen more effectively than Norman back in Conway's run. And THIS is the death that genuinely and utterly pissed me off 41.media.tumblr.com/f3318d2b70…
(I kinda agree with this fellow...)
- Not Gonna lie , the scene where Peter goes to Gwen's grave is all kinds of touching, JMS knows how to play with the heartstrings of I,KAIS. Then suddenly... NINJAS !
- Oh and in case you're wondering, YES the original script had these 2 as Peter's kids. Granted it'd have been weird, but at least we'd have something that CAN make sense... and it would have meant that Pete did give Gwen the D... Oh yeah !
- Our 2 Ninjas seem to take immediate action to themselves up as threats. The female one asks MJ for directions in the street while the male one even helps Aunt May with her groceries ! Who the fuck does he think he is ? Venom ?
- AH nevermind , my bad, they send threatening notes to tell Spidey that they could have killed anytime. What uncouth ruffians ! Eddie , what would you have done ? 41.media.tumblr.com/549c8aea86…
Thank you Eddie, you and your lover were definitely a Godsend.
- We discover that the letter had a secret message or somethin' ... that Gwen had CHILDREN ! www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sAftK…
- Peter almost tries to dig up Gwen's corpse to make sure. Buuut he decides not... Which is a wise decision, the new graveyard guardian is a bit overzealous image.slidesharecdn.com/axis-c…
- Spider-man confronts Sarah aaaaand... she looks totally like Gwen . Up to the headdress but I guess that was in Gwen's genetic code anyway...
- Mary Jane KNEW ABOUT IT ALL ALONG ! WHAT ?! www.comicsbackissues.com/wp-co…
. Oh by all means, help yourself.
- Now , I can tell you my BIGGEST gripe with this entire story arc ; The art of Mike Deodato Jr is fucking beautiful ! And to see such good art wasted on feculent scum such as this , well quite frankly multiversitystatic.s3.amazonaw…
. And I have the same opinion on his contribution to Ellis shtiskid T-Bolts run (an intelligent comic run? Hit the bricks and bleed profusely on them !)
- Finally, the terrifying secret about Gwen's past ; she had a dispute with Tommy Lee Jones !... No wait, it's actually Norman Osborn. Thanks comic, God forbid you make me happy. And I don't need to explain how fucking incompatible THIS Norman is with the original Conway version... just thinking about it is painful.
- " They have Osborn blood. And Osborn blood is...special blood !" Dude, I think Mr Sinister would object to this statement.
- You really want to know why Gwen decided to ride Norm's glider ? It is due to his "Animal Magnetism"... Okay, when did this go into Bible Black territory ?! Because it is seriously the perfect script for a Hentai ! And people think this gave Gwen more substance ? Well, I guess it did FILL her with a particular one anyway...
- " It was the Green Goblin healing factor that let him survive an impact that should have killed him.".. no it was editorial fucking Cowardice . Also , the reasoning as to why Gobby targeted Stacy is so fucking RETARDED that I need something plausible and nice to set my brain straight rule34-data-003.paheal.net/_im…
. Yeah, that'll do.
- So after that Spidey fights the twins and blablabla...Gabriel becomes the Grey Goblin (I fucking miss Roderick !) and attacks but before that Peter uses his blood that will save Sarah from aging rapidly due to the power of the Goblin Serum... And now I miss Demogoblin.... And then it ends with Sarah shooting her worthless brother to save Peter. That's a pretty out there ending. Out of someone's end anyway...
So those were my honest impressions on Sins Past. In front of that, even Venom's stupidest mini-series (symbiote travelling through the internet to kill people , anyone ?) are fucking VOLTAIRE by comparison. However , if there is any silver lining, now even YOU can retcon YOUR pairing within Spider-Man history ! Hell, Gwen Stacy's death ? Pfah, weaksauce ! I can do better shocking revelations than that !
You think Kraven buried Peter ?
" See Mary Jane, I lied ! I didn't come back to you before 2 weeks because I had ONE night of passion with Sergei Kravinoff. That is how he stole my costume !'
"Peter! How Could you ?!"
" How could I not ? did you check that Freddie Mercury stache he's rocking ?!"
You think Mary Jane was scared of Venom when he first appeared ?
"You SLEPT WITH BROCK ?"
"But Peter , did you even see the beefcake he is ? And the things he does with that symbiote tongue..."
What about Jameson's first encounter with Carnage ?
"You with the Hitler-stache! you're gonna be my bitch! I'll have raw chaos PENETRATE your foundation so you can understand !"
" NO Carnage-Dono, Yamate !"
And why are they called the Sinister Six ?
"Say doc, Why are we always the Sinister Six anyway ? "
" Well you see, it is important that you do not enter the group, but that the membership enters your being ! Also I used to be a proctologist before aquiring 4 additional metallic arms !"
... and they are every bit as logical as this arc. Quick Fanfic writers to your keyboards !